The Strangeways Glee Club/Floyd, NY Bar in Brooklyn/ Feb.13, 2005

Is it fair? Shall the critique be unleashed? These people were volunteers after all. Aid workers gathered to lead the lovelorn in the singing of songs by the Smiths.

The answer is right there. Fairness? It is but a fantasy in the world governed by Messrs Morrissey and Marr. Nature’s a language, can’t you read?

So the Strangeways Glee Club was but a group of amateurs. They had to pluck the lyrics off of sheets of papers. The dude on the acoustic guitar couldn’t get it right. One of the singers looked like a zippy fourth grade teacher.

But you want an academic discussion about The Authentic, huh, bigmouth? It’s in the pub. It’s two friends sharing stories about The Smiths while singing songs by The Smiths as led by a community group manhandling songs by The Smiths. All on the eve of Valentine’s Day.

Yes, it was a crime that “How Soon is Now” was not part of the evening’s program, but do you blame them? Do you know anyone who can play that song? And is it their fault that at least one person in the room was crushed that “Ask” remained unfurled? How could they know that the bucktoothed girl from Luxemburg is a specter that haunts my, er, her everyday existence? These petty grievances seemed not to bother the chortling choir members dressed in black.

And thank goodness for that. Self-absorption was the drink of the day and everyone there was soused on the stuff. Together.