Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Boredoms / Bowery Ballroom / May 25, 2005

“Hey, so uh [name withheld] was tripping balls and he fell on his face and now he’s bleeding everywhere and I’m holding his teeth in my hand and we have to take him to the hospital, so we’re leaving the Bowery Ballroom now.”

I received this phone call before the Boredoms even started playing.

Yeah. It was that kind of night.

So basically, every freakout noisecore psych-drone fuckup band out there just needs to stop right now, because you will never be the Boredoms. Sorry. Give it up and stop trying. Play electroclash or something.

The set started with Eye and two balls. When he slammed the balls together, they lit on fire and made thunder noises. He howled. Cthulhu woke up and yawned. Or at least it sounded like it.

Three drummers sat down at three fully-loaded drum kits. One of them was Yoshimi. It doesn’t matter who the other two were because, fuck, it’s Yoshimi. I want to make babies with her arm muscles.

I can’t tell you what happened during the rest of the show. I think that part of my brain is currently being mopped off the Bowery Ballroom floor.