Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Colin Meloy / Fez / Jan. 24, 2005

amy: i love doughy boys.
amy: now, colin seemed a bit less doughy than the last time i saw the decemberists.
amy: do you think this symbolizes imminent heartthrobitude? because i remember thinking the same thing when the postal service toured. and then BOOM, all of a sudden, ben gibbard = major heartthrob
caryn: He's not that doughy. I have to say, I kept staring at him thinking, wow, he wears a sweatshirt so freakin' well. That's always what I think I look like when I wear a sweatshirt, but I really look like John Goodman on the Roseanne show.
caryn: He also has a very, very sharp jaw line which contrasts very sweetly with his nerdy glasses. Kinda like Superman. Ladies love cool Colin.
amy: oh man, the ladies next to us were literally swooning. but how could you not?
caryn: I know. Breakin' hearts. Losing bikes. It's Portland's own Colin Meloy. Now, I don't want to get a reputation for always being about the Bad Audience Member (and I do think it might behoove (sp?) us to create another blog just for this purpose) but that lady at the next table is definitely in the running to win Most Annoying Person at an Intimate New York Rock Show. I know you didn't get to see/hear as much as I did, so let me recount.
amy: all i heard was when she yelled out "GRACE CATHEDRAL PIER!!"
amy: and colin was like "uhh... you mean grace cathedral hill?"
amy: and she was like "NO, PIER!!!"
caryn: So this lady. She looked normal, see. She had hipster glasses and hipster bangs and a hipster stripped shirt. But she was a wolf in hipster's clothing.
caryn: She may have been drunk and I may have detected a Slavic accent on her.
caryn: So what she did is this: there is generally always a person who shouts out things to the performer at a show. Usually this person is an uber-fan and it's annoying and sometimes endearing. So she was shouting out unnecessary things.
caryn: Such as...when Colin asked us to stomp our feet to create percussion for a song and then accused us of stopping to stomp, she shouted loudly (after a series of shouting loudly) "I didn't stop." And he wryly replied, "Of course you didn't."
amy: by the way, the song was "los angeles, i’m yours"
caryn: Now, fine, so she's a shouter. But, conversely, she talked really, really, really loud DURING the songs. A woman at our table (one of the swooners) stood up and snapped at her and mimed her to shut her trap.
caryn: Later, a guy sitting at her table looks at her and says simply "Could you please shut the fuck up?"
amy: what was her response?
caryn: She looked hurt, crazy and depressed. But did that stop her? No. Of all her crimes, however, this final atrocity may be the worst. She attempted to lift a candle, perhaps to hurl at Colin as a form of showing her love and support, and CAUGHT HER HAIR ON FIRE!! It smelled like ass. Colin even was like, "what's that smell." Tsk, tsk,tsk.
caryn: Okay, but enough about her. Let's talk about the music.
amy: other decemberists hits played included: "myla goldberg", "red right ankle", "my mother was a chinese trapeze artist", "apology song"
amy: there were also several selections from the upcoming album "picaresque." when he began playing "the sporting life," everybody clapped
amy: and he was like "you know this song? how do you know this song?" very suspiciously
amy: this leads me to the conclusion that the audience was comprised entirely of journalists and pirates.
caryn: The song he wrote to his friend whose bicycle he lost was awesome. I wish a friend would disappoint me greatly and then write a great song about it.
amy: after he played that, he remarked that the bicycle in question was eventually returned to its owner. but then loaded onto a bicycle rack on the back of colin's car. and then smashed into another car.
caryn:Agreed about the journos and plunderers. Now, Colin seems like a sweet, well-adjusted man. Yet, if you counted all the dead bodies in his songs, he'd be creeping up into Johnny Cash/Eminem territory.
amy: yes, but unlike johnny cash and eminem, he didn't kill all of them. it's more haley joel osment territory.
caryn: Do we know that?
amy: well, in one of the songs HE's the dead guy.
caryn: Colin Meloy definitely sees dead people.
amy: there is this totally awesome epic song about seeking revenge for causing his mother to die of consumption, so he sails the high seas looking for the sailor and then they have a showdown after a whale kills everybody else on the boat
caryn: So Colin did a few Morrissey covers. What did you think?
amy: well, uh, they sounded like decemberists songs. since i didn't know the originals.
caryn: I kinda wish he did more known Morrissey. He stuck with weird b-sides and stuff. I mean, Colin was meant to sing "You're the One for Me, Fatty."
amy:ok, can we talk about the last song of the night?
amy: never in my life did i think a cover of cheap trick’s “southern girls” could bring me to tears
caryn: I loved how he introduced it as an old folk song. It was very sweet.
amy: much like how he introduced "my mother was a chinese trapeze artist" as "an autobiographical song"
amy: also sweet: when the crowd sang along to the "i know i need unique new york" line in “myla goldberg”
caryn: I wish Colin would write a blatantly Portland song. I kinda teared up when he mentioned the Multnomah County Library. I could see that library from my old office.

so, how much do you want to punch the guy who reviewed the tegan and sara album for pitchfork today?